Posts Tagged With: humor

Hanukkah Gift Ideas for Babies

Happy Hanukkah Symbols

Looking for a Hanukkah gift for a baby? Sure, you could buy a toy, but you probably don’t know which toys the baby already has. Do you want to buy a truly unique Hanukkah gift for the baby? Then check out the Hanukkah gift ideas for babies described below.

Babies wear onesies. And as parents will tell you, the more onesies the better, since babies often go through many changes of clothing a day.  These My First Hanukkah onesies are made of 100% combed ring spun cotton jersey for your baby’s comfort. The three snap closure on the bottom makes it easy to change the baby’s diaper.

My First Hanukkah Onesie

Available in four colors and priced at under $18, these Chanukah onesies are great Hanukkah gifts for babies. For more info, click here.

Would you rather buy a long sleeved onesie for the baby? These long sleeved My First Hanukkah onesies are made of super soft 100% combed ring spun cotton to keep baby comfortable. It also has a snap closure for easy diaper changing.

My First Hanukkah Onesie

Available in four colors and priced at under $20, this Hanukkah onesie featuring a dancing dreidel is a winner.  For further info, click here.

Not sure of  the baby’s size? Then buy a Hanukkah baby bib. These Mommy’s Little Latke  baby bibs are made of 100% combed ring spun cotton jersey and are double layered and super soft. When it get dirty, it’s easy to clean. Just throw into the washer and dryer.

Mommy's Little Latke Hanukkah Bib

 

 

Available in four colors, and priced under $15, these Chanukah bibs will make baby’s parents happy. For more bib info, click here.

 

 

Need a Hanukkah gift for a newborn baby? These My First Chanukah baby gowns are made of soft 100% ring spun cotton and feature mitten sleeves to keep the baby warm and save by preventing the baby from scratching him/herself. The opening at the bottom allows for easy diaper changes.My FIrst Chanukah Baby Gown

Priced at under $20 and available in four colors, this is a unique Hanukkah gift for newborns. For further info about this gown, click here.

 

 

Would you like instead to buy a long sleeved t shirt for the baby as a Hanukkah present? These cute Little Latke Lover long sleeved baby t shirts are made of super soft 100% ring spun cotton and are tagless so the baby will be more comfortable.

Little Latke Lover long sdleeve Hanukkah t shirtPriced at under $20 and available in four colors, these are Hanukkah gifts parents of the baby will be glad to receive. To find out more about this t shirt, click here.

Here’s a unique Hanukkah gift idea for the baby’s parents- a Hanukkah baby burp cloth. Made of 100% softened polyester fleece and machine washable, this colorful 12″ by 16″ Hanukkah burp cloth will help keep baby’s Mom and Dad clean during baby feedings.

Happy Chanukah burp clothPriced at under $20, these Happy Hanukkah burp cloths are a Chanukah gift parents of Jewish babies will appreciate. To learn more about these burp cloths, click here.

Babies get cold. Especially in the winter, they should be wearing a hat. These beanie style I Love You A Latke Hanukkah baby hats are cute and useful. Made of super soft 100% ring spun cotton, these hats are available in four colors.

I Love You a Latke Hanukkah baby hatPriced at under $15, these hats are great Hanukkah gifts for babies. For further info, click here.

The Hanukkah designs pictured on a particular product, are often available on other products as well, such as onesies, t shirts and hats. To see Jewtee’s entire collection of baby gifts for Hanukkah, click here.

Remember that all products from JewTee.com are backed by a 30 day money back guarantee. So shop with confidence.

 

 

Categories: Chanukah, Chanukah Hanukkah T Shirts and Gifts, Chanukah Onesies, Hanukkah, Hanukkah Gift Ideas, Hanukkah onesies, Jewish, Jewish Baby and Kids T Shirts and Gifts, Jewish Holidays, My FIrst Chanukah Gifts, My First Chanukah Onesies, My First Hanukkah Gifts, My First Hanukkah Onesies | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

JewTee Blog Purim Edition

Shalom Y’All:

As I hope you know, Purim begins on the eve of March 4 and ends nightfall March 5. On Purim we celebrate our salvation through Queen Esther from the edict Haman prepared to annihilate all the Jews in the Persian empire.

On Purim Jews listen to the Megillah at night and the following morning, give Shalach Monos- gifts of food and/or drink to family and friends- charity to the poor  and eat a big meal in the late afternoon. In the carnival spirit of the day, kids, and often adults, dress in costumes and liquid refreshment of all kinds is imbibed.

In the topsy -turvey spirit of the day, I bring you the latest “news”:

Obama Netanyahu Friends At Last

Let’s Be Friends, Make Amends, Now’s the Time To Say I’m Sorry.

In a bombshell announcement today, President Obama and Prime Minister Netanyahu have agreed to bury the hatchet, become friends and learn from one another. President Obama will teach PM Netanyahu how to shoot basketballs into baskets while PM Netanyahu will teach President Obama how to shoot sunflower seed husks from the mouth into a bowl.


 

Sunny Days Ahead

Jew Are Refugees

In a shocking reversal of long-standing policy, the newly appointed Secretary General of the United Nations, Ban Ki Sun, has declared that all Jews living outside of Israel are refugees and has pledged 3 billion dollars to their resettlement in Israel. Consequently, UNWRA will be disbanded and a new agency, UNIRA (United Nations Israel Resettlement Agency) will be established.

Mr. Sun reached for comment at his residence in New York, explained that since all Jews once lived in Israel, any Jew not living there now is a refugee. Furthermore, he explained, since the borders of ancient Israel encompass much more land than the current state, Jews will be free to live anywhere within the ancient borders of the Jewish state. Arabs who wish to continue living there may do so if they agree to be “dhimiis.” (Druze Arabs and the families of Bedouin, Muslim and Christian Arabs who have served in the Israeli army will enjoy full rights.) Arabs who are unhappy with this turn of events will be free to move to any of the 22 Arab countries in the Middle East.

Reached for comment after this bombshell announcement, former West Coast Bank President Atbat said, “Oh well, we gave it a good shot. I’ve always wanted to ‘paint the town red’ in Tel Aviv and now I’ll have my chance.”

Hummus leaders in Graze City also seemed resigned to the new state of affairs. They explained that they had been offered a lucrative financial opportunity to turn their rockets into drones to be used to deliver packages from e-commerce companies to residents of the Jewish state and to turn their tunnels into underground shopping malls. The entire Graze Strip will become a vacation playland with separate beaches for men and women, and rocket building and tunnel digging activities for kids.

 

Green Is Better Than Red

Green Is Better Than Red

As to their enmity of the Jewish State, Hummus head Khabead Mashup said, “While I was having a good smoke on my Hookah, it came to me. We’ve tried to fight them. That didn’t work. It just gave us tons of rubble to clean up and many funerals to attend. So now, we may as well join them and get our hands on some real money.  When we feel like fighting and getting our own state, we’ll just attack one of the 22 Arab countries who did so little to help us.”

 


 

Beauty Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder

Beauty Is In The Eyes of  The Beholder

Hussle Realhoney, Iran’s Leader, shocked the world today by announcing it was renouncing  the manufacture of nuclear weapons and instead focusing on establishing a yearly Purim contest. (Iran, formerly Persia, is the location of the original Purim story.) “Instead of being hit with sanctions and losing revenue from the lack  of oil sales, we will make Tehran the world’s wealthiest city. Girls from all over the world will come to Tehran for the title of the world’s most beautiful girl. Contestants, who will need to be sponsored by their home country, will spend months being pampered and prepped with the world’s best beauty products. Of course, in keeping with our traditions, female contestants will have to be fully clothed with only parts of their faces allowed to be seen. Since true beauty lies on the inside, however, there is no need for  greater exposure.”

On the day of the contest, all contestants will appear before the “King” who will judge their beauty and abilities and pick that year’s World Beauty Queen. The Queen’s responsibilities will include selfies with all World Leaders.

Asked who the “King” would be, Beauty Contest developers said that while no final decision had been made, those in the running included: Prince Charles, Big Sean, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Simon Cowell and Jesse James, all of whom have chosen women other than those they were married to.

Despite thousands of requests from married men, the part of Queen Vashti will not be played by the wife of a married man.

That’s it for now.

HAPPY PURIM TO ALL!

Categories: Israel, Jewish, Jewish Blog, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Purim, Purim, religion | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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